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How do you help someone that doesn't want help or know they need it?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by strummerfan, Jun 10, 2013.

  1. strummerfan

    strummerfan Well-Known Member

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    I'm pulling my hair out here. An old friend of mine has a major history with substance abuse(mostly meth). About a year ago he sent out an email asking that no one try to contact him again. THen proceeded to changed numbers etc. Two days ago he sends out a mass email telling everyone that XXXXXXXXXX has died of lung cancer and has been resurrected as the second coming of Christ. I can't even begin to convey the insanity contained in his latest emails. At one point he accused his mother of "filling his lungs with dust, shredded credit cards, and metal filings". I've spent the last two plus hours on the phone with mental health clinics in California trying to find a way to get him some help to no avail. Is there anything I can do for a life long friend?
     
  2. blackandgoldpatrol

    blackandgoldpatrol Well-Known Member

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    It's long past time that you ignore your friend's request to stay away. He needs to hear the hard truth about himself, regardless of how you think he'll react.....and as hard as it is to think about it, if he doesn't respond to you, you may just have to protect yourself and walk away...
     
  3. biggbunch68

    biggbunch68

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    iN MY 45 yrs on earth i have been around alot of meth users, the only thing you can realy do for him is tell him you want him to get help, But he is not gona get any till he wants to, meth is a verry adictive drug, one of my best friends is doing his 2nd stint in the pen because he was cooking meth, and no matter what i tried to tell him he woudnt listen.
     
  4. TerribleTowelFlying

    TerribleTowelFlying Staff Member Site Admin Mod Team

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    Yikes, sounds terrible...sorry to hear that. I don't have any experience with that, or any real insight to offer, but perhaps you could call or email the local police for a "Welfare/Wellness Check"? Most locales do it anonymously (I know that from experience). Not sure how much that will help, but it's something...
     
  5. strummerfan

    strummerfan Well-Known Member

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    May 9, 2012
    At this point it appears that the only thing I can do from here is to call the LAPD, explain the situation, and ask that they perform a "welfare check". I've called pretty much every hospital and clinic in the area and unless he's willing to walk in and ask for help they won't/can't do anything. All of them suggested calling the LAPD and asking that they check in on him. Apparently the police will go and talk to him and if they deem him to be out of sorts will haul him into a hospital for further evaluation. I shared his emails with some of my family members that are in the medical field(1 dr 1 pysch nurse) and both of them think he's potentially suffering from schizophrenia and probably needs inpatient psychiatric care.
     
  6. TerribleTowelFlying

    TerribleTowelFlying Staff Member Site Admin Mod Team

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    Oct 12, 2011
    Best of luck. Definitely a challenging situation...helping someone from a distance who doesn't want help.
     
  7. Blast Furnace

    Blast Furnace Staff Member Mod Team

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    Oct 16, 2011
    Not a whole lot you can do, as with any substance abuse, they need to want to get help and that usually doesn't happen until they hit rock bottom. In my experience, everything that was tried, the in and out of rehab, all the talks, all the tough love, nothing changed until he finally had enough and wanted help. Even after that, it's a battle but he stayed clean until his dying day. Addiction is a terrible thing and very misunderstood by those who have no experience with it themselves or had a loved one who went through it.
     

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