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Dad Joke of the Day Thread

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Born2Steel, Feb 25, 2026.

Page 13 of 13
  1. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

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    Nov 4, 2011
    The other day I met this beautiful woman with huge hooters. I offered her $1,000 if she would let me bite one, and she agreed. We went off to a secluded place and I buried my face into them, licking, motor-boating and having a grand time. After a few minutes she said “well aren’t you going to bite one?” And I said “no thanks, they’re too expensive.”
     
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 23, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 23, 2026
    #301
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 3
  2. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

    18,896
    5,854
    Nov 4, 2011
    My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, but the second time was a letdown.
     
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 27, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 27, 2026
    #302
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 3
  3. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

    18,896
    5,854
    Nov 4, 2011
    I own 51% of a company that hunts vampires.....I'm the main stake holder.
     
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 27, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 27, 2026
    #303
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  4. jeh1856

    jeh1856 Chilling by the pool

    41,036
    14,235
    Oct 26, 2011
    Variation from when I literally bought $10,000 of toilet paper for a school district

    It’s rough it’s tough and it doesn’t take **** off of anyone
     
    jeh1856, Jun 27, 2026
    jeh1856, Jun 27, 2026
    #304
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  5. steel machine

    steel machine Well-Known Member

    18,656
    6,718
    Sep 21, 2017
    As I stated earlier in this thread I'm not a joke person since my brother-in-law use to drive us crazy with them at every family event. He was over the other day and I let him read through this thread. He was in poop pig heaven. He actually wrote down about 15-20 of them for future use.
     
    steel machine, Jun 28, 2026
    steel machine, Jun 28, 2026
    #305
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  6. jeh1856

    jeh1856 Chilling by the pool

    41,036
    14,235
    Oct 26, 2011
    Ummmm

    :crybye:
     
    jeh1856, Jun 29, 2026
    jeh1856, Jun 29, 2026
    #306
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
  7. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

    18,896
    5,854
    Nov 4, 2011
    I prefer the British spelling of diarrhea. Diarrhoea really looks like it lost control of its vowels.
     
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 29, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, Jun 29, 2026
    #307
  8. SteelinOhio

    SteelinOhio

    6,296
    1,834
    Oct 16, 2011
    A guy went to see his psychiatrist, but he showed up at his appointment completely naked, except for several layers of saran wrap that he wrapped around himself.

    He asked, "doc, do you know what's wrong with me?"

    His psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see yer nuts."
     
    SteelinOhio, Jun 30, 2026
    SteelinOhio, Jun 30, 2026
    #308
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 3
  9. S.T.D

    S.T.D Well-Known Member

    46,827
    12,252
    Dec 23, 2020
    LoL. Ah Geez
     
    S.T.D, Jul 1, 2026
    S.T.D, Jul 1, 2026
    #309
  10. Born2Steel

    Born2Steel Well-Known Member

    4,889
    1,786
    Jul 7, 2023
    Snoop Dogg always carries an umbrella. He claims it's fo tha drizzle.
     
    Born2Steel, Jul 2, 2026
    Born2Steel, Jul 2, 2026
    #310
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
  11. Born2Steel

    Born2Steel Well-Known Member

    4,889
    1,786
    Jul 7, 2023
    A man tells his friend he has developed an intense phobia of birds. So much so that he has started carrying a shotgun around everywhere he goes. The friend asks him him, don't you think you're getting a bit carried away?
    The man holds up the shotgun and says, 'not today'.
     
    Born2Steel, Jul 2, 2026
    Born2Steel, Jul 2, 2026
    #311
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 3
  12. SteelinOhio

    SteelinOhio

    6,296
    1,834
    Oct 16, 2011
    A pirate with a steering wheel attached to his crotch walks into a bar.

    The bartender notices the steering wheel and says, "that looks uncomfortable, what's with the steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

    The pirate says, "Arrrr, it's drivin' me nuts."
     
    SteelinOhio, Jul 3, 2026
    SteelinOhio, Jul 3, 2026
    #312
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
  13. S.T.D

    S.T.D Well-Known Member

    46,827
    12,252
    Dec 23, 2020
    Ahhhhhh. Geez
     
    S.T.D, Jul 3, 2026
    S.T.D, Jul 3, 2026
    #313
  14. forgotten1

    forgotten1 Well-Known Member

    12,604
    3,151
    Mar 4, 2022
    Innuendo: Italian suppository
    Symmetry: Very neatly laid out graveyard
    Acoustic: A perch for a dove
     
    forgotten1, Jul 8, 2026 at 11:44 AM
    forgotten1, Jul 8, 2026 at 11:44 AM
    #314
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. SteelinOhio

    SteelinOhio

    6,296
    1,834
    Oct 16, 2011
    Took a second.....:lolol:
     
    SteelinOhio, Jul 9, 2026 at 7:37 AM
    SteelinOhio, Jul 9, 2026 at 7:37 AM
    #315
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 1
  16. MojaveDesertPghFan

    MojaveDesertPghFan Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.

    9,953
    4,075
    Oct 19, 2011
    You heard about the lady who got her Vaseline and window putty mixed up?
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    All her windows fell out.
     
    MojaveDesertPghFan, Jul 9, 2026 at 12:31 PM
    MojaveDesertPghFan, Jul 9, 2026 at 12:31 PM
    #316
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Born2Steel

    Born2Steel Well-Known Member

    4,889
    1,786
    Jul 7, 2023
    You know what they say about a man with big hands and big feet?




    Big gloves and big shoes.
     
    Born2Steel, Jul 10, 2026 at 8:37 AM
    Born2Steel, Jul 10, 2026 at 8:37 AM
    #317
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 1
Page 13 of 13

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