Steelers drama from former players

Bingo!!!

I have 2 daughters and even if I didn’t. How does a tag give people the excuse that she wanted it?

I mean… tuis literally means any man who talked to her that night had an incentive to get busy.

 

bro.. the whole sports world was surprised at what happened that night with Ben.

no matter how drunk or slutty a woman acts at a bar, it does not give a man the right to have sex.

ESPECIALLY when the guy already has a SA accusation and has been war ed by the org and the league.

“but she was drunk and had a tag.. and followed me around”

did she follow him into the closet or did players take her to him?

IMO the answer doesn’t matter.

Ben was an idiot that night.

 

Whether it was consensual or not is up for debate. Having said that, I don’t think there is any disputing the facts that it was in a bar, she was led to a bathroom or coat closet by his body guards (where Ben was waiting), all against the backdrop that he was a multi-million dollar QB (and already a Captain of the team). He was ultimately suspended, it was bad for the team and fans, and everyone close to him had to answer questions about it (an unnecessary distraction to the team).

If he turned his life around, good for him, but it doesn’t magically make him an upstanding athlete who did so much for the people around him during his career. He is still taking little shots at teammates on his podcast.

At the end of the day, all of these situations are part of his story. Many of which seemingly support Porter’s assertion that he wasn’t necessarily a stand up person or teammate. Maybe it changed later in his career, but that is Porter’s frame of reference (the early years).

 

I don't think anyone is disputing any of that.

But anyone who has a daughter should be trying to teach them to avoid putting themselves in a situation that can go very bad. By every account I read, her actions all night long lead to her being in a terrible situation, where two drunk people would end up doing something stupid. Ben had no right to do what he did. But I'd be extremely upset and worried to death if I learned that my daughter intended to go out, get drunk, chase NFL pro QBs from bar to bar, wearing a DTF shirt.

You try to teach your daughters not to put themselves in compromising situations like that. Did she deserve what happened? NO. Could she have avoided the situation? Yes. Could Ben have acted responsibly? Yes. But everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. And now both their lives are forever impacted by that night.

 

Bottom line. None of us "know" what happened. I will never suggest the girl lied, but Ben was never "proven" guilty either. I just dont know what happened but as the law says innocent til proven guilty. Never went to trial.

So I think to take a strong opinion on EITHER side is assuming something we cannot know for certain. One thing I do know is Ben was beyond stupid that night. Agreed with the suspension. But beyond that, there is just speculation on both sides.

 

No, it's not just semantics. Down indicates willingness if the right situation emerges. Determined indicates that she will do whatever or whoever it takes to make it happen. That is a significant difference.

Even if she meant the sticker seriously, that open to sex does not give every man who sees the sticker consent. It isn't about anybody being surprised that it led to sex, it is about some of us educating ourselves regarding the disturbing details that led them to be alone in that bathroom and understanding that indicates intent by Roethlisberger to do something inappropriate to get his way.

That she showed interest in him during the evening does not give him consent. There are eyewitness reports that she was too drunk to give consent and that one or more of Roethlisberger's crew dragged her to him.

 

just google DTF dude.. its not determined. You must be 75.. lol.

 

yup… my wife has a friend who is married to a guy who used to play in the NFL. He has a huge drinking problem and turns into a different person when drunk.

At his birthday party everything was fine. Then he had a shot and like 5 minutes later he said he was about to seeing on me because he thought I was a stranger.

I was just talking to him and 2 minutes later he was ready to swing. His wife said she has spent a ridiculous amount of money hiding his behavior from people. They are hanging on by a string.

 

No doubt, but we have to be careful about that part of the discussion so that it doesn't devolve into victim blaming. As you said, her mistakes did not justify his actions.

 

I knew quite a few players when I was in college. One was my neighbor in the dorms when we were both freshmen. He was never anything but cool around me and seemed like a great guy. He actually went on to be a well-respected player in the NFL, one known for his charitable work.

He also got drunk and slammed another student against a dorm-room wall, putting the other guy in the hospital. That was one of many instances of violent behavior related to his drinking.

 

This is problematic.

None of us were there to know what occurred in that closet. But for me, the issue is Ben is a QB of a franchise, he already had a SA accusation and he was warned to stay out of trouble.

You claim she was out looking for sex? What is that based on? The sticker? Following him around? Flirting?

All those things probably occurred but that still doesn’t mean she gave consent. When a person is sh!t faced you can’t give consent.

For this to happen at the bar with people looking out for him makes it much easier for Ben to be accused of SA.

You keep saying she wanted sex. That sh!t sounds gross dude.

 

Look at the reports. I can't be entirely certain, but it seems as if the DA didn't bring charges because the woman was too drunk that night to be a reliable witness. I think that would have gone to trial today, with the law being more likely to prosecute in cases when victim is too drunk or high to give consent. Here is an example from an Ohio law firm's website, but it is this way in many states.

 

I'm not and I don't doubt that Roethisberger was too stupid to realize a woman that drunk cannot give legal consent, but the behavior we know of for certain was disgusting and indicated at least an intent to do what he wanted whether she consented or not.

 

Whats funny in all this is if you ask both sides the Porter/Tomlin supporters and Ben and his crew who was the most at fault for losing the last SB vs the Packers there will be 100% agreement that it was all Mendenhall.

 

That's just Ben. Go read what he said about Cowher when Tomlin took over.

 

All I can say is if the idea of deciding later that having relations with a person was a bad Idea after the fact, then I have a lot of women I'd like to take to court.
I've been pretty drunk, with sober women that have taken me home, and I wake up the next day in their beds with women I would never have slept with if sober, but They were sober, and I wasn't. I was so drunk I don't remember but glimpses of the night. Should I then be able to accuse them of rape because I couldn't have given my 100% sober concent, or should I just accept that I, I made a bad decision, and move on instead of trying to destroy their lives for my bad decision??

 

Gotta disagree here. Clothes like that are typical of the look at me crowd. Could be "DTF", "juicy", "moister than an oyster", "#kinky", etc. If she was in fact looking for sex she would want it to be on her terms, not the guy's. I don't have daughters but my sister is always harping on hers every time they go out at night; "Make good choices!". In this case, neither party did.

 

Accused is the key word.
We actually know what Porter did. It's on film.

 

Because He was young, and dumb. That doesn't mean he raped her.

 

Also fair, but does that make Porter wrong about some of Ben’s shortcomings as a teammate and/or person?

Let me ask it this way, do you think a hallmark of Ben’s career was that he was a great teammate and consummate professional (like say a Sidney Crosby?)

 

He was 28 when it happened. I don’t buy the youthful ignorance excuse.

 

No, but I would bet that not many that had such success at a young age were, and I think that he learned.
All I'm saying is we know what Porter has done. We have tape of a so called bad a$$ jumping one guy with a group of his friends, and then we have Ben that is a hear say.
I know for a fact two things.
1. I have never been on a team in any sport ,that everyone liked, or even respected each other, and .......
2. Without Ben, Porter is still looking for a SB win, and nobody then would care either way.