Steelers/Texans and the falling cat/buttered toast paradox

As is obvious to the most casual observer, if a cat falls, it lands on its feet 100% of the time. Also, if buttered toast is dropped, it falls buttered side down 100% of the time. So, if buttered toast is duct taped buttered side up to the back of a cat and the cat falls, there arises a paradox that nature cannot solve. Physical laws break down and the cat is suspended in midair.

Similarly, Mike Tomlin has never lost a Monday night game at home, but also has not won a playoff game in years.

So, how is this paradox solved?

 

first and foremost


WHY the hell is using the duct tape that goes on the workout bench!!!

 

OK then, for the purpose of the thought experiment, super glue.

 

The falling cat landing on its feet is an exaggeration I've seen plenty that dont usually when they are surprised by sudden shifts in what they are standing on. Im willing to hazard a guess that the buttered toast is an exaggeration as well.

The simplest solution to the Tomlin paradox is to remove him from the equation. The Steelers have not lost a home game on MNF since 1992. Lots of players on the teams that built that record at the same time we can say that Tomlin's contribution to those games both home and away is to not do anything stupid although he rarely keeps that impulse in check, not taking advantage of guys signed off the street by other teams comes to mind. So what we should have in the equation is that the Steelers are playing at home, its a Monday night game that is scheduled as a MNF game and that results in a Steelers win. Monday Night Magic will take effect.

 

This is like the scene out of Major League where Harris drinks Jobu's rum.

 

I decided to test this theory morning with my cat. The answer is my cat contorted himself to lick all the butter off the toast then claw the hell out me while trying to remove the tape.

I'm sending you my urgent care bill

 

I think you should test this on the cat first

 

My nephew in law butters his pop tarts

 

How do you get the cat into the toaster? Is that what the butter is for?

 

why not chopsticks?

 

Thats only for eating elephants and then only one bite at a time

 

Here You go Jeh.. listen.