Dad Joke of the Day Thread

And I’m making a list that I will repeat at inappropriate times

 

I make my wife handmade birthday cards using pi fractional roots and logarithms etc

She seems to take it better than using the actual number

 

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?


She gets a frog in her throat at 69!

 

You're such a nerd. I think you had her at pie.

 

The romantic that I am……

When I asked my wife if she would like to get married she had just gotten her graduate degree and had school loans

Apparently I told her I thought she would be a good investment

She hasn’t let forget that

But I was correct

 

Wasn't that Geraldine in a Ferrari

Don't tell me this town ain't got no Hart

 

LoL. I've thought about it.

 

Why does the train stop in the middle of the forest? To let the lumber-jack off.

 

I actually took a second for me to get the 1st one. LoL

 

A guy walks into a hillbilly discount general store looking for some cheap TP. He finds the TP aisle and scans the varieties and prices. For $5 you could get a 2 pack of Premium TP, for $3 you could get a 6 pack of Deluxe TP and for $1 you could get a 12 pack of John Wayne TP. The guy was surprised but grabbed the John Wayne 12 pack and headed to the checkout counter. The clerk said "That'll be $1 even". The customer still curious asked the clerk "Why is the John Wayne TP so cheap? The clerk replied "Cause it don't take sh!t from nobody"!

 

Same here. My wife was best investment I ever made financially. Still paying off bigtime since we have one of the greatest health plans I have ever seen. So glad she was grandfathered (mothered) in because this new generation will not get the benefits she has.

 

SHIVER ME TIMBERS!

 

Gonna try to wipe that one clean from my mind.

 

Are you saying you are poo-pooing this story?

 

I realise I can be a poo poo head sometimes

 

pour deux

 

So what's a substitute name for a Thesaurus?