Game of Thrones (HBO) - Time to jump on board

2 hours to go! It's funny, as badly as they've butchered the storylines from the books, as a show it's still very entertaining. I know a lot of people who love it who have never read the series. I'm just glad that my failing old man memory keeps me from agonizing over many of the details of the screw ups (until Ray reminds me and I go "oh yeah... those bastards!")

 

Well, the Arya thing went totally different from how I expected. I had bought into the whole "test for the waif" thing. I did like how the blindness paid off. Not sure how she managed to be ok after several gut stabs, but hey - there's a whole lot of dead space between all of those vital organs and blood vessels. True to D&D timeline form, I'm sure Arya will just catch a red eye flight to Westeros and be with Jon and Sansa next week.

 

They should have called this episode "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly."

The Good:

Everything with the Hound! Loved every second. And I'm grateful. Yes. Grateful that D&D managed to not completely screw the Brotherhood up. And will someone get Sandor a chicken for Seven's sake?!

"I choose violence." Well, hello, Cersei. Nice to see you got your mojo back. Epic scene.

Jaime and Brienne. Call me soft hearted, but I enjoy seeing a different side of Jaime come out whenever she's around, and her ability to see his true nature even if he can't.

(This one will also go into the ugly for a different reason. Just FYI.) Royal decree of no trial by combat. Tommen is so played. Cersei had one trump card, and the High Sparrow laughed in her face about it. If you ever watched The Chappelle Show, and saw his Rick James skit with Charlie Murphy, there's a scene where Rick James just blatantly ruins Eddie's couch while mocking him. I'll not quote it, because it's against board rules. But The High Sparrow is Rick James. And the couch is Cersei's trial by combat.

Ok. I had to do it. Apologies in advance.

Spoiler: Warning! Foul and/or offensive language

The Bad:

WTF have they done to Tyrion? I get it. Being a bureaucrat is dull. Missendei and Greyworm have very rigid sticks up a posterior orifice. But this is a running gag that just doesn't work.

Terminator Waif. Who knew Skynet sent a T-1000 back to Essos? I get that they wanted to show ruthlessness, but it just seemed so cliche. And while we're on the subject, I can suspend disbelief. But that whole sequence was just... give me a break! Arya's seriously injured, doped up on morphine, and was never once a match for the waif. NOT EVEN, er, check that, ESPECIALLY when she was blind! I hate to break it to everyone, but Arya is dead. That isn't Arya. It's the waif with her face. Adding insult to injury, the waif cut out her eyes before killing her. Well, it WOULD BE if not written by Hollywood hacks. Arya is one of my 3 favorite characters. I'm glad she's still alive, but her survival stretches credulity. And now she just gets to leave? Huh??? Jaqen even seemed pleased. Maybe it's all part of his plan. Who knows?

The Ugly:

River Run. Why bother keeping some parts of that story intact, more or less, and then change it anyway? WHY IS JAIME STILL TEAM CERSEI?!?!?!?! I knew. I just flippin' KNEW they'd kill The Blackfish. Ugh.

Back to the Royal Decree. Hype suspended. Shame. I STILL think it's bound to happen eventually. Book reasons which I'll go into if anyone cares, but I won't go on about it just now. That "little rumor" Qyburn confirmed for Cersei is not good. At. All.

Spoiler: Speculation

I'm fairly certain it involves secret caches of a certain substance. A certain substance Cersei used in the books on the Tower of the Hand. Cersei is about to become Aerys III. And will Jaime FINALLY get off that damned bandwagon then?

Random thoughts:

Am I the only one strangely attracted to the Waif? Does that make me weird?

Maybe my favorite line of the night: "Everyone dies. Except this one."

I'm intrigued by the Brotherhood's purpose going forward. Do they head north? Will we see a SanSan reunion? Or do they head south to put King's Landing in order (and resume HYPE). either way, I'm glad to see Beric and Thoros on the right path, and still a part of the story.

It's so nice of the Slave Masters to bring Dany a fleet just when she needs it.... once they're done dying of course. Is just, well, EVERYTHING just going to fall into her lap?

Battle of the Bastards next week. By the preview, it looks like they spent more on the upcoming episode than on the entire series up to this point. Should be awesome.

 

They actually addressed the whole "jetpack" thing last week. And now I'll cut them some slack.

They said that when planning out the story lines, everything bogs down if they have to plot "Well, so and so is going here, so we won't see what happens there for 7 episodes." You can get away with some of that stuff in books, since you go much further into detail with everything anyway. But for TV, it creates problems.

So they decided that for pacing sake, they wouldn't concern themselves too much with showing how long it takes to get somewhere. That viewers should obviously know some of that (along with throwaway lines here and there about a passage of time). And that the viewer should not assume that if on Monday, Arya did X while someone else was at point A, and then what would be Tuesday for Arya, the other person is now 1000 miles away, that their timelines match up. They don't.

 

Sometimes... just occasionally, an episode is so good you just have to stand back, bask in its glory, savor it, and save the nitpicking for later.

This was that time. I'm not going to question details, motivations, characters being in different spots than the books. I'm not even going to point out that probably NONE of this will happen in the books. (or at least nowhere near the same way)

Great episode! Loved every second of it.

Edited to add: Of course I'll probably nitpick everything later. There's plenty to pick apart. But for now, I'm happy just to have been entertained.

 

The battle was fantastic. I'm going to watch it again tonight.

I'm also enjoying the evolution of Sansa. Not sure that the books (with their use of Jayne Poole) will be able to match her transition from naive child to pragmatic, hardened woman. This may actually be a situation where the show bests the books (dare I say).

 

You had to bait me into picking it apart, huh?

I freely admit the episode was thoroughly entertaining. I praised it as such. BUT...

(You know, my brother once told me that nothing a man says before the word "but" really counts.)

BUUUUUUUUUUT......

None of it makes sense! Well, unless Sansa is a cold hearted, callous, evil witch that is. I doubt that's what they're going for. But for the story to even resemble logic, she would have to be.

She kept VITAL information from Jon. All the way up to the damned battle! Her saddled up next to Littlefinger suggests she knew he was coming. Adding another 10K troops to your army would really alter your battle plans, no? She had no good reason for keeping this a secret (except for maybe making Ramsey believe they were weak so he'd meet them on the field. But then, Ramsey would have anyway. His ego wouldn't have it any other way. He went out to meet Stannis even after Roose demanded they use Winterfell defensively). And in the process of doing so, got Jon's army decimated. How many were left when LF finally arrived? 300? Less?

Jon was a major screw up himself by abandoning any plan he had in an instant. But if Sansa was calculating enough to hold LF's forces in reserves to lure Ramsey out, then she was cold enough to be willing to sacrifice Jon himself (and we know she had already written Rickon off).

Or was she just pure lucky LF got there on time? Did she have no idea he was coming? If so, she gets zero credit for the win. She offered nothing of use and babbled on about "I don't know. Just do something!" <sigh>

So which is it? Is she a clever woman who learned the game of manipulation? Or just damned lucky and still clueless? Because one makes her evil. Selfish. Cold. The other makes her still a little girl who knows nothing. Just like her half-brother cousin. Still a helpless, naive thing who gets by with the intervention of others.

Don't get me wrong. I loved the way she started to back off when the dogs began tearing into Ramsey, and then went back like "You know what? No. I'm going to watch this." And that smirk when she finally walked away. But none of it really feels earned.

And Jon. Whooo boy. What a maroon! The only true thing Sansa told you was Ramsey would trap you. You waived her off, and not only fell for it, but took your whole army down with you. You really do know nothing. Good thing you're lucky and have R'hllor's favor and/or massive plot armor. (But that was a SWEET tracking shot)

I love Wun Wun. But no one bothered giving him a weapon? Something the size of a telephone pole would do nicely. With one swing, he'd take out a whole flank of that shield wall. And those arrows barely seemed to penetrate more than 2-3 inches (proportionally, his skin should be 5-6 inches thick). Even the one in his eye! He should be alive and ticked off at what would amount to a few bee stings and maybe a lost eye.

I'm sure there will be a battle for Winterfell in the books. I really doubt it will go down like this (except for the outcome). And NOT having Sansa with Jon will make it better. Perhaps she rides in with LF and the Vale. Maybe they never get involved and instead it's Stannis and Jon. Who knows? But I know it won't have gaping plot holes.

And just HOW did LF march an army of that size all the way to Winterfell COMPLETELY UNNOTICED?!?!?!

Let's not forget that Rickon isn't even in the North in the books. He's on Skaagos.

On the bright side, it appears they're maneuvering their chess pieces for the endgame. Sansa, Jon, LF, Davos already in Winterfell. It appears the Brotherhood and Brienne are headed there as well. Surely, if Arya hears her "brother" and sister have retaken Winterfell, she'll head that way also. Should be fun: Arya and the Hound together again. The Hound and Brienne meeting again as allies, etc.

Dany now has the Iron Islands - well, some of it. Varys is probably off to get Dorne's support... maybe kill a few people along the way. The show is completely off the rails, but maybe they can course correct before the end.

 

Lol Ray! Can you expound a bit more on how you really feel? Just to be clear, I am not yet sure of Sansa's motivations, and whether she's become clever, callous or a bit of both. I just like that she's been hardened, and the deal with Littlefinger shows pragmatism. She may ultimately be getting played by Littlefinger again, or she may have some sort of revenge planned down the road. We'll see. I'm guessing she's not accepting Littlefinger as her new best buddy though (and he is far too smart trust her after what happened). There's more to come on that relationship.

I am also puzzled as to why she never told Jon about the Vale knights showing up. Possibly she had no reply to know for sure if/when they were actually coming. Hopefully there will be some sort of explanation that becomes apparent, and it may indeed be that she's been broken so badly that she's in it 100% for herself, and doesn't give a flying ___ about anyone else (family included). That would just make her an even more interesting character to me going forward. Maybe she did use the wildlings as fodder to draw Ramsey out. Maybe she's willing to sacrifice Jon. Maybe her deal is to marry the freaky twit Robin in exchange for having the Vale army at her disposal to consolidate her position, and Jon and his army would only get in the way (with a secret plan to have Littlefinger assassinated so that she can exert control over Robin). Sansa Stark - Warden of the North (which couldn't be the case with Rickon alive). I know - even more plot holes to explore. I just like the possibilities better with the new Sansa.

I'll just say that the Sansa of the books is utterly useless and annoying to me (so far). The new post-Ramsey Sansa is actually interesting.

 

LOL!

Spoiler: Warning: Some adult language

 

24 hours to digest.

This show has become an amazing spectacle. Great, entertaining TV...

If you don't think about it too much. But let's dwell on the positive for now.

R+L=J confirmed! Not that there was ever a doubt. I mean, at this point, it would be far more shocking if it wasn't true. But why the secrecy about his name??? Just not important?

Cersei takes out Kevyn, Lancel, Pycelle, 99% of the sparrows as well as Pope Francis, The Tyrells, a few hundred (thousand?) high born and common people, Cuneo, Tattaglia, Stracci, and Moe Greene. All that was missing was an instrumental of "Speak softly, Love" rising in crescendo. I'm surprised the destruction was so contained considering wild fire burns through almost everything and hot enough to ignite wood 50 yards away. It also cannot be extinguished except by starving it of oxygen. Half of King's Landing should be gone.

You want some Freys with that? So Arya gets to take Wyman Manderly's epic moment. Fine. I'm cool with it. If only to finally see Walder go down hard. And Arya's disguise was rather fetching. But I digress...

I'd follow Lyanna Mormont into hell. She has a better endowed manhood than every lord in that room.

Same for Lady Olenna, aka The Queen of Thorns. Her putting the Sand snakes instantly into their place was a thing of beauty.

The rest? Whatever. I'll let someone more entertaining than I expound on it. But before I do, it occurred to me that this show is "Dune." I loved those books. Then that damned movie came along. It got some of the key events right, kind of... sorta. It was visually stunning and exciting if you turned off your brain. And the ending somewhat arrived the same as the books, if more cheaply. Oddly, I enjoyed it anyway even if it infuriated me at times. So fine. I'll enjoy the show in the same way. Just please. Whatever you do, DO NOT end this whole damned story with winter ending and a summer that never ends starting, and as everyone is in wonder, have Lyanna Mormont proclaim, "And how is this possible? Because Aerys Aegon Jon Stark Targaryan Snow IS the Quizat Haderach!"

And now, I'll let a man I admire drop the mic on what really bugs me. He's funnier at it:



I do have an issue with what he says though: 1 - Cersei IS the rightful heir to Tommen, but not the way he's looking at it. With no Baratheon heirs left, you have to go back through Baratheon generations to find a line that still has descendents alive. The closest one left just happens to be a Bratheon who married into the Lannisters... ending in Tywin's line. Jaime can't inherit because he gave that right up. Tyrion is a convict so ineligible. So we get Cersei. Would be nice if they spelled that out though.

 

Another piece of advice: Don't get married. Not for love. Not for alliances. Not for power or wealth.

In fact, don't even go to a wedding. Send a gift with a note apologizing for your absence.

 

It's been a long wait. Not as long as waiting for another book, but still a long wait.

2 weeks from Sunday.

 

Bring it!

 

"Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe."

Mic @%#!ing drop.

Euron throwing shade at Jaime was harsh. Something like "I have the world's best armada... and 2 good hands." Ouch.

But the best lines tonight went to The Hound. Most of which cannot be quoted here without breaking the rules.

Other than the cold open, this episode was almost completely set up. Considering time is running out, the pace should pick up quickly.

 

Ha! You know the prop people were having a hell of a time with that montage.