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Dad Joke of the Day Thread

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Born2Steel, Feb 25, 2026.

Page 11 of 11
  1. Born2Steel

    Born2Steel Well-Known Member

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    Jul 7, 2023
    I read a statistic that Mother's Day has the least number of crimes committed than any other day of the year. Taking your mom to brunch will keep her from going out and committing crimes. That's how I read it anyway.
     
    Born2Steel, May 11, 2026
    Born2Steel, May 11, 2026
    #251
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
  2. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

    18,836
    5,810
    Nov 4, 2011
    upload_2026-5-11_13-9-21.jpeg
     
    Steel_Elvis, May 11, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, May 11, 2026
    #252
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  3. forgotten1

    forgotten1 Well-Known Member

    12,340
    3,068
    Mar 4, 2022
    LOL
    It's not Cat Burns Alan Carr or Jonathan Ross
    LOL
     
    forgotten1, May 11, 2026
    forgotten1, May 11, 2026
    #253
  4. SteelinOhio

    SteelinOhio

    6,272
    1,803
    Oct 16, 2011
    Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?

    He got a little behind in his work.
     
    SteelinOhio, May 19, 2026
    SteelinOhio, May 19, 2026
    #254
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 4
  5. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

    18,836
    5,810
    Nov 4, 2011
    Courtesy of comedian Anthony Jeselnik (paraphrased):

    My grandmother wanted to die the best way possible, peacefully in her sleep. And when she passed away, we thought that’s what happened. But then we had an autopsy performed, and discovered that she died horribly, in the worst way possible… during an autopsy.
     
    Steel_Elvis, May 22, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, May 22, 2026
    #255
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 3
  6. MojaveDesertPghFan

    MojaveDesertPghFan Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.

    9,832
    4,018
    Oct 19, 2011
    :facepalm:
     
    MojaveDesertPghFan, May 22, 2026
    MojaveDesertPghFan, May 22, 2026
    #256
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 1
  7. S.T.D

    S.T.D Well-Known Member

    46,152
    12,045
    Dec 23, 2020
    That's freaking terrible man. LoL
     
    S.T.D, May 23, 2026
    S.T.D, May 23, 2026
    #257
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Born2Steel

    Born2Steel Well-Known Member

    4,828
    1,755
    Jul 7, 2023
    When you see a snake skin, it means the snake shed it to grow bigger. It means the same thing when you see my clothes at Goodwill.
     
    Born2Steel, May 25, 2026
    Born2Steel, May 25, 2026
    #258
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Steel_Elvis

    Steel_Elvis Staff Member Mod Team

    18,836
    5,810
    Nov 4, 2011
    My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
     
    Steel_Elvis, May 25, 2026
    Steel_Elvis, May 25, 2026
    #259
    • Hilarious Hilarious x 2
  10. jeh1856

    jeh1856 Joe Pa 409 wins. Greatest coach ever.

    40,140
    13,876
    Oct 26, 2011
    This is not even a joke, a redneck friend down in West Virginia actually did this

    He was at a funeral where his uncle was cremated and they were giving out ziplock bags with a spoon full of the deceased ashes in it

    Loudly my friend said I’m not taking that

    How do I know I’m not getting the a$$hole
     
    jeh1856, May 31, 2026 at 11:06 PM
    jeh1856, May 31, 2026 at 11:06 PM
    #260
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