Mark Sanchez

Great!

 

Just saw a satire site post that Mark Sanchez has been sentenced to 5 more years with the NY jets.

 

I just saw my first news clip where they used the term "Overserved"

It had to do with Marks statement to the police where he said he didn't remember too much from that night because he was "Overserved" I would assume this is going to be Mark Sanchez's defense, It wasn't his fault he was an ASS, because he was "Overserved"

 

He'd better go with a bench trial because I would not think most people will buy that excuse. Maybe if he showed evidence he was drugged against his will.

 

Don't try the butt fumble in the showers, dirty sanchez.

 

Ode to a Bad Drunk in an Alley

Delivering grease for Kiper’s hair
Of sudden heard “You can’t park there!”
Out came loudly bellow from an angry drunken slob
“But Kiper’s grease is renewed often
and without it his ‘do will soften.
He will lose his magic and look like some random nob.
Speaks he, then the sports world trembles
as Woody Woodpecker resembles
without the grease his magic will be lost.”
Fearing therefore for my life
From its sheath withdrew my knife
And punctured blustering miscreant all about his swarthy sway
The life’sblood flowed from left to right
And made a grisly sickening sight
To hospital he slowly made his way.
Now learn from this, both young and old
If alcohol has made you bold
Don’t be bad, try to be a pally
Don’t be an ass, don’t be a fool,
You’re not so tough, you’re not so cool,
and most of all don’t scuffle in an alley.

Special thanks to Steel Elvis for the suggestion that the truckload of grease was intended for use on Mel Kiper’s hair.
I hear this in Patrick Stewart’s voice.

 

LoL. I read it in that voice. I watch too much American Dad.

 

S.T.D., I have not watched TV in many years (except for Steelers games), what is the American Dad reference? I know it’s a TV show but that’s all.
I waited to write this until it was clear he would survive. If he had been fatally stabbed I guess I would be a real dick for writing a funny poem about the incident.

 

Patrick Stewart is a regular on American Dad, and since it's a animated show ,his voice is very recognizable.

 

Ok, gotcha.

 

What kind of douche-nozzle gets drunk and then decides to do wind sprints in the alley behind the bar? Mark Sanchez really puts the dumb in dumb jock.