If This Message Board Ran the Pittsburgh Steelers . . .

Todd Haley would be our head coach. Chan Gailey would be the Offensive Coordinator and Dick LeBau would be our Defensive Coordinator (but he would have to be reprimanded, told he needed to perform better, and would be gone unless he improved our #1 defense).

Bruce Arians would have been fired four years ago and the Arizona Cardinals would be working on their fourth straight Super Bowl win.

Charlie Batch would be our Quarterbacks Coach, Aaron Smith would be our Defensive Line Coach, Carnell Lake would remain our Defensive Backs Coach, Tunch Ilkin would be the O-Line Coach, Jack Lambert would be our Linebackers Coach, and we wouldn't need a Tight Ends Coach because Heath Miller is the greatest tight end in the history of organized football. Oh, and the guy who created P90X would be our Strength and Conditioning Coach.

Dennis Dixon would be under center and his primary target would be Limas Sweed. Mike Wallace would have been traded two years ago. Antonio Brown would be the other starting receiver and Hines Ward would still be working out of the slot -- and well into his fifties or whenever he wanted to retire. Plaxico Burress and Santonio Holmes would still both be on the team but suspended for a year due to off-the-field incidents.

Our starting running back would be Ray Rice because we would have drafted him over Mendenhall. We wouldn't have missed on that.

And Rice would be running behind Dan Kreider AND John Kuhn. We'd be operating the wishbone. It'd be like Switzer's Sooners in the early 80's with Jamele Holliway throwing to all-world tight end Keith Jackson. Our offense would be designed around our fullbacks with Heath Miller being the focal point of the passing game.

We would only have Maurkice Pouncey at center and no other linemen because they are all worthless and suck. That's not true. We'd have Adams and Decastro there too because we don't hate them . . . yet. Despite the fact Max Starks has been more than adequate and saved our 2011 season, we would have cut his fat arse. Marcus Gilbert would still be on the team but it doesn't matter because he'd be hurt. Colon, Kemo, Foster . . . gone.

On defense, our front three would be McClendon (Hampton would have been cut), Heyward, and Hood. Our linebackers would be Worilds and Harrison (Woodley would be cut). Our inside linebackers would stay the same. We'd sign Keenan Lewis to a monster contract then have to cut Ike Taylor because we couldn't afford both. And we'd cut Troy Polamalu and have Ryan Clark handle both safety spots because he can do no wrong.

We'd cut Shaun Suisham because he can't hit from 55 yards out when there are other kickers in the league who can (despite the fact Suisham hit just about everything else this year).

We wouldn't have a punter because we would always go for it.

And we'd be about 8 billion dollars over the cap because of the Mario Williams, Namde Ashomuga, and Anquan Boldin signings (and the forty-seven other free agent signings over the past three years).

Oh, and we'd have a perfectly manicured playing field and Steely McBeam would be dead.

 

Not fired... he'd just "retire"

 

In all that gibberish rant there is no mention of Big Ben? Is that because as fans we already burned him at the stake for the off field incidents? Also, Hines Ward would have lead us the Superbowl with every last drop of Black N Gold blood in his body.

 

Yes, or be "retired"... permanently...

 

Also, Dick, you forgot cheerleaders and block numbers. How could you forget cheerleaders and block numbers?

 

If This Message Board Ran the Pittsburgh Steelers . . .

The Cornerbacks wouldn't give a 7-10 yard cushion.

AND...we would run a 4-3.

 

And apparently if this message board were ran by people who are satisfied with this year we'd be 8-8 next year and every year. No one on this board had anything to do with BA being fired. No one on this board had anything to do with Haley being hired. No one on this board had anything to do with our guys getting hurt this year. No one on this board had anything to do with our guys fumbling like maniacs this year. No one on this board had anything to do with our WR core dropping balls like they were hot potatoes. But apparently if we criticize any of those things then we are somehow wrong or not "real fans". HOWEVER, if you UPHOLD this year then wouldn't it mean that you UPHOLD those things I just mentioned?

 

Go get 'em BFT!

Personally, I believe that if the Rooneys would turn all team decisions over to this message board we'd go 19-0 and win the Super Bowl EVERY SEASON!!!

 

I think you pretty much got it Dick

 

I think that was Dicks point...

 

Not to mention a logo at midfield

 

i kinda like the idea of going for it more often

seriously though isnt this what TTF made this board for?

 

No, we'd be 0-16.

 

Well which is it? Either you are satisfied with this year or you are not. If you are not then what is the problem with people talking about things. Obviously, yes, people some times go a little over the top but I know that you're new to this board and might not realize who the rational ones are and who the irrational ones are. But really if you take a look around and go back through the threads from last season til now you will find that most threads are completely reasonable. It just seems that your animosity is misplaced. As I was trying to point out the ROONEY'S made the decisions that they felt best for THEIR team. We consider the Steelers OUR team but at the end of the day the Steelers are actually the ROONEY'S team. If the Rooney's wanted rid of BA I support their decision. Apparently you do not but to dog on the people here for that is to miss the whole point of it altogether. We SUPPORT the decision. The Rooney's MADE the decision. Those are two very different things. The whole point is that NONE of us run the Steelers. Therefore, the most rational arguments are just a relevant as the most irrational arguments because as much as we might like to believe NONE of us have even an INKLING of the football savvy and knowledge of the Rooney's or ANYONE in the organization and ALL of us are just fans on a message board talking to other fans on message boards about a team that we love but can do absolutely nothing for when it all comes down to it. People have a right to be wrong and I totally respect that. And to your point about 0-16 you are on this message board too so what am I to make of how the Steelers would look if YOU were in charge? To quote Marv Levy "if you keep listening to the fans pretty soon you will be sitting with them." I think that goes for ALL of us. Period.

 

Dick Shinner is my hero!

 

I love shade.

 

Haha. That "gibberish rant" is nothing more than a collection of what I have read on this board (with a few add-ons, but mainly from actual posts).

The lack of a mention of Ben is a testament to those who thought we should have gotten rid of him after Milledgeville and for those who still think he isn't very good. Fascinating stuff.

 

does that mean steely mcbeam wouldn't be in line for the coaching vacancy left by stevie steeler, because steely didn't produce?

 

AMEN!!!